PERSONAL CHANGE RESOURCES
INNER CRITIC/IMPOSTER SYNDROME
Inner Critic/Imposter Syndrome
First thing to know: It's a very common experience among high-achievers, and most of us can experience it, depending on the circumstances we find ourselves in.
The inner critic or imposter syndrome refers to a psychological phenomenon where individuals feel inadequate, doubt their accomplishments and have a persistent fear of being exposed as a "fraud." They attribute their successes to external factors such as luck, rather than their own abilities and can lead to decreased confidence, reduced motivation and low self-esteem.
Some things to know about our Inner Critic
· The inner critic is always there in the background and as you first become more aware of it, it may become even louder
· Left unchecked, our inner critic may escalate, afflicting you with the imposter syndrome
· It is possible to shift how you experience the inner critic when it comes up and its impact on your life
· It is possible that there are some benefits to listening to your inner critic
· Self-compassion is key to the journey of reconciling and quieting our inner critic, both for yourself and for others
Handling your inner critic
Managing your inner critic requires you to first acknowledge its presence and understand its origins. You can then use various strategies to manage and challenge it, such as:
Understand that your inner critic ‘voice’ is a part of yourself that was created at a much earlier stage of your life when it provided you with a safety mechanism from real or perceived threats to your wellbeing. When we understand that our inner critic/impostor syndrome is an outdated strategy that we created unconsciously to keep us away from risks, we can be a bit more friendly towards this part of ourselves and can begin to create some distance between ourselves today and this younger part of ourselves.
Some practices that make a difference on the journey towards turning down the volume on our inner critic
Reframe negative thoughts into positive ones
Practice self-compassion and treat yourself with kindness, knowing that most everyone has some form of this inner voice driving their vulnerabilities
Focus on your strengths and accomplishments, allow your Inner Mentor to have some input to balance out your Inner Critic (see Tara Mohr’s work and research in Playing Big)
Humor - treat that voice within yourself with some humor so as to lessen its emotional weight on you
Challenge the evidence for negative thoughts
Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist if needed
Engage in activities that boost your self-esteem and confidence
Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations
Remember, it takes time and consistent effort to overcome the inner critic, but with persistence and patience, you can learn to quiet it and live a happier, more fulfilling life.
A quick guide to working with your inner critic
The first step is to become aware of your inner critic – what it sounds like, what it looks like, are there more than one (do you have a whole group of inner critic) and what the message/s it it (or they) trying to get across (beware of strangers?, don’t trust until you have proven their trustworthiness?, stay vigilant so that you are not caught unawares?, be smarter or more informed so that always have the upper hand?, life is tough?, etc etc)
Because the inner critic may have been a part of your mind for a very long time, make peace with the fact that it may always be there in some form or the other. You are not seeking to eliminate it altogether, but to lessen its negative impacts on your life and leadership.
Start to be more aware and examine is the critic correct sometimes? Or is it a “tape” that is just plays over and over again from an earlier part of your life that is no longer serving you?
Increase your awareness and get to know your inner critic through journaling these questions for yourself:
· What does my inner critic sound like? (high pitched, low volume, soft, loud, etc.)
· What does my inner critic(s) look like? (an angry teacher, a monster, a troll, etc.)
· What are the messages my inner critic is saying to me? (where did you get that idea?, that’s stupid, who do you think you are?, you’re ugly, what a failure, etc.). Note – this may take time and be different in different situations.
· How are these messages impacting my leadership? My life?
· What would I be like if I lived free of this inner critical voice? What would it feel like? How much less energy would I expend on worry
When you begin working with the inner critic you are training yourself to think in new ways about your life (imagine re-wiring your brain and the emotions associated with the inner voice) – a new way that may feel uncomfortable if your automatic pattern is to adopt a negative perspective most the time. Give yourself time and space to reflect. Give yourself the space to get curious without having to rush to judgment. Remember it will take time and a self-compassion as you begin these reflective practices.
As you become more aware of how your inner critic operates, you will be able to catch it “in the act”. As soon as you become aware, take a few minutes to complete the exercise outlined below. It is important to reframe the thoughts as soon after as possible to minimize the energy you spend on the situation, and to begin retraining your mind.
· Write down exactly what it is saying to you and how you are feeling as a result. Ex. “My inner critic said the following to me: that person thought what you said was stupid – didn’t you see the look they gave you?”
· Write down an alternative, less negative version of the message. Ex. “A more balanced way for me to think about this situation is the following: I noticed that the person I was talking to gave me a look – they may have been thinking of a question about what I was sharing.”):
· Notice how each feels when you re-read them to yourself.
There are a few other tips for managing the inner critic in the moment.
When we have an orientation to the critical, it helps to develop a different inner voice – one of compassion. Notice your judgments arising, practice staying curious and staying connected with the conversation or situation you are in. Notice how this feels vs other times when you go to immediately to judgment and criticism. How can this support you in having compassion for yourself? Compassion for others? What can you do differently as a result?
In the moment when you catch your inner critic at play, notice it for what it is – just one of the many thoughts that will occupy your mind today. Laugh and say – “oh that’s interesting”, and let it go. By giving the inner critic less “air play” we give it less energy and it dissipates more quickly.
Tara Mohr in her book Playing Big also invites to consider the power of our Inner Mentor as a way to quiet the voice of the Inner Critic and add yet another lens to the ‘voices inside ourselves’.
The Imposter Syndrome. How is this different than the Inner Critic?
Clinical psychologist Ellen Hendriksen defines impostor syndrome as “a pervasive feeling of self-doubt, insecurity or fraudulence despite often overwhelming evidence to the contrary.” It seems that high-achieving women are more susceptible to the impostor syndrome. Please consider that women’s imposter syndrome is not simply the product of our own inner voices, but it is also highly influenced by the contexts in which we operate i.e. where women have historically either not been welcomed or have been considered ‘less than’ for a variety of cultural or societal reasons.
Author, keynote speaker and researcher Clare Josa, who has focused her entire practice on the Imposter Syndrome calls it “inner critic on steroids”. She works with organizations to reduce the impact of the imposter syndrome on gender pay gap, lack of gender parity in leadership and stifled innovation. She also makes a strong case for more resilience within individuals and organizations when the imposter syndrome is being addressed.
We have been focusing primarily on the detrimental aspects of the Inner Critic and the Imposter Syndrome, but is it possible there are benefits? In “Think Again”, Adam Grant makes a case for the upside with three key points:
1. Feeling like an imposter can motivate us to work harder
2. Imposter thoughts can motivate us to work smarter
3. Feeling like an imposter can make us better learners
Some content in this article has been adapted from a worksheet developed by Tana Heminsely and available in her book, Awaken Your Authentic Leadership Conversations.